Much of the pain comes from an obsession with "rationality." We always want to clarify right and wrong, straighten out cause and effect, and confirm fairness, as if only when everything makes sense can we feel at ease. But reality is full of unconsciousness and chaos; not everything is logical. If we cannot accept ambiguity and uncertainty in relationships, we are prone to internal conflict. Many people keep explaining reasons not because they can't let go of someone, but because they want to gain security and love through "clarification." But true growth is recognizing that not everything must be reasonable, and not all problems have answers. When you shift from trying to control the external world to taking responsibility for yourself, internal conflict will decrease.